This year I’ve decided to infuse my blog posts with more user-friendly tools, strategies and action steps. This month I’ll be revisiting the theme of Emotional Sobriety and introducing specific ways you can create a practice around it. Emotional Sobriety can only take shape once you are sexually sober. But let’s open the aperture even further. Most people who are healing . . .
Continue reading...Andrew Susskind
Gratitude: A Daily Practice
Last weekend I traveled to Boise, Idaho to attend my little cousin’s college graduation. In all honesty, my little cousin is now 6’5”, but he will always be my “little cousin” because I met him at the hospital when he was born, and he was quite little at the time! Although he now towers over me, he’s a gentle giant with a heart of gold. And to celebrate alongside of him brings me so much pride and gratitude.
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- December 26, 2019
- Gratitude
Grief as an Ally: Part 2
Because addictive, compulsive behaviors sometimes act as social lubricants (supposedly making it easier to be around others), you may find yourself feeling awkward without the drink in your hand or the porn apps ready to go. Hopefully, you have already been practicing social connection and fellowship before the holidays. Your addiction was a often a way to feel less and to regulate the distance . . .
Continue reading...Grief as an Ally: Part 1
As the holidays approach, I’ve been taking a closer look at grief and how it works in my life and in my recovery. In American culture, most people try not to think about grief, and yet, grieving can be a valuable way to say goodbye while moving forward. If you don’t grieve, it can actually be an obstacle . . .
Continue reading...Moving from Sexual Sobriety to Emotional Sobriety
Once you stop your out of control sexual behavior, you’ve come to the starting gate of discovering emotional sobriety. But what does this really mean? It’s when you feel most like yourself. When you begin to feel more comfortable in your skin, more relaxed and more at peace. It’s a reclaiming of your resilient, resourceful, regulated state of well-being.
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- November 23, 2019
- Recovery Sexual Addiction Sobriety
Restoring the Wisdom of the Nervous System: Reducing the Vulnerability to Relapse from Sexual Addiction
Out of control sexual behavior creates an imbalanced nervous system. The anticipation and hunt for sex leaves you dysregulated, as you remain lost in the attempt to numb your pain and escape your feelings. Dysregulation describes the disruption of the nervous system: up-regulation refers to internal states such as panic or rage, and down-regulation refers to disconnection or shutting down.
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- September 17, 2019
- Sexual Addiction
The Homestretch
It was October 2014. I received a LinkedIn message from the acquisitions editor for Central Recovery Press in Las Vegas after she read my workbook, From Now On: Seven Keys to Purposeful Recovery. I was surprised to say the least. I had no idea that editors actually look for authors on-line, but this is how Eliza Tutellier found me. She was coming to Los Angeles to attend the Evolution of Addiction conference so we decided to set up a meeting. Our dinner turned into a three-hour meeting of the hearts and minds.
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- April 20, 2019
- Publications
‘Tis the season (2018 update)
The polarities in this country are indisputable, and there can also be canyons and disputes in families, circles of friends and in the workplace. In spite of the differences and conflicts, the holiday season is here once again, and you have options for how you choose to participate in it or not.
For those of you in recovery, it’s often a challenging time as the brokenheartedness of the past can creep into the present tense when you least expect it.
Continue reading...Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder
A few months ago, the World Health Organization recognized and included “compulsive sexual behavior disorder” in the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-10). This is the first time that anything close to “sex addiction” has been validated as a diagnostic code. For many years there has been an effort by sex addiction therapists to include “sexual addiction” as a classification/diagnosis, but to no avail. Sexual addiction was coined by Patrick Carnes in the 1980s, but it’s always been a controversial term accepted by some clinicians and rejected by others.
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- October 24, 2018
- Sexual Addiction
Professional Home
It was October 2008. I recently signed the lease on a brand-new suite in a brand-new building on Overland just south of Pico in West Los Angeles. Not only was I a first-generation leaseholder, but I also had the opportunity to design the suite detail upon detail. It turned out to be a rather precarious time in our country, but I kept my focus and ten years later could not be more pleased with my professional home.
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- September 3, 2018
- News